Mental Health

Resilience and why it’s okay not to be okay 

You need to get thicker skin” That one little phrase can really mess your day up. If someone is upset that is okay, no-one has the right to make you feel bad for feeling upset. I’ve always been someone who is sensitive and well ever since my depression and anxiety kicked in it has been considerably worse. I get that the world isn’t sugarcoated and full of rainbows and that is perfectly fine but what is not fine is having a go at someone when they have the right to be upset. You have the right not to be okay when you need that time. 

We’re currently in a society which loves to use phrases such as ‘perk up’ ‘You just have to deal with it’ ‘what do you even have to be depressed about?’ and my personal favourite ‘you’re strong, you’ll be fine’. Okay so first off let’s start with the fact that mental illness is NOT a choice. Trust me if I was able to choose anything I’d quite like longer hair and the ability to contour properly but hey sometimes we don’t get a choice. 

‘You’re strong you’ll be fine’ so this phrase literally makes me want to cover my face and scream. I consider myself strong physically sometimes especially when I’m at the gym with my hair in a bun ready to squat. However I also consider myself equally not strong physically or mentally at times. There are times where I have to stick on a brave face, pretend I’m coping and just get on with life until I get back to my room. I can feel weak and helpless at times even when I don’t have the time to be feeling like this, again another lovely effect of mental illness you don’t get to choose when or where it happens. 

It’s only recently I’ve learnt that it is okay not to be okay. I’m allowed to have days where maybe the only thing I do is get up, washed and put on a fresh pair of PJs because that’s all I can face doing. Some days can be great and I live for those days and then you have those other days which I used too call fog days when I was little. These are the days where everything can hit either all at once, or during the middle of the day or even when you are having a laugh and a joke with your family/friends. 

The one thing I have learnt to help me at these times is to be resilient and it is harder than it sounds. Some days I can be quite good at it, other days it goes out the window completely but I gave it a shot so it counts. For me going to the gym helps a lot, exercise = endorphins. I love being able to stick my headphones in and zone out of the world for an hour. I feel relaxed when I leave and can face the day again. Sometimes I just take a step back from everything and try to focus on having me time, this can be reading a book or taking my dog for a walk or even just having a chat about anything with my bestie. I’m not completely there yet and I don’t think at the moment or anytime soon I will be but as long as I keep trying and becoming stronger with it that’s all that matters. 

“Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt, you fall. But you keep going” 

I love this quote and well it explains the steps I’m currently on loop with and that many other people are too. Remember be kind to yourself, it’s okay not to be okay and just take it one step at a time. 

Crissy x 

Uncategorized

25 Questions about me

So I thought I’d do a post which tells you a little bit more about me as my first few posts were very out there and personal. So here we go. 

1. What is your middle name? – I don’t actually have a middle name as my first name Is double barrelled. 
2. What was your favourite subject at school? – I loved music and also religious studies. I find it so interesting to learn about different religions and cultures. 

3. What is your favourite drink? – A good cup of Tea is the way to my heart but I do love a hot chocolate especially in the autumn and winter. 

4. What is your favourite song at the moment? – Erm IDGAF by Dua Lipa as I feel like I’m relating to it at the moment.

5. What is your favourite food? – I love a good pasta dish, carbonara is my absolute favourite. 

6. What is the last thing you bought? – Some boots, a few jumpers & a blanket from Primark.

7. Favourite book of all time? – This is a hard question as I have a few favourites but my all time favourite book is Harry Potter & the Philosophers Stone. It was the first book I was able to read on my own all the way through and well I’ve been a Potter head ever since. 

 8. Favourite Colour? – Blue 

9. Do you have any pets? – I do, a lovely rescue staffy called Marley. We will have adopted him a year ago on the 6th November. 

10. Favourite Perfume? – Daisy by Marc Jacobs.

11. Favourite Holiday? – Christmas, I just adore the season and the atmosphere that comes around the time of year. I love being able to treat my family and my god-children and Just see everyone come together. 

12. Are you married? – No.

13. Have you ever been out of the country? – Yeah, I’ve got the travel bug! I’ve been to Florida, California & Vegas in the USA. I’ve visited China and trekked the Great Wall. I’ve taught in India for two weeks, visiting Dubai on my way back. Also been to a few places in Europe; Slovenia, Verona, Rome, Tenerife, Kos. I’ve got so many more places on my list though.

14. Do you speak any other language? – Considering I took French for A level, I probably should be quite fluent but I’m not really.

15. How many siblings do you have? – None. 

16. What is your favourite shop? – Waterstones as I could spend hours in there. 

17. Favourite restaurant? – Erm my go to restaurant is Bella Italia if that counts?

18. When was the last time you cried? – The first week of October, it was a very testing week and I just needed a cry. 

19. Favourite Blog? -There’s a few that I read daily:

Gabby Fabrizio

Hannah Gale

Corrie

Alice Spake 
20. Favourite Movie? – Peter Pan but Harry Potter comes a close second. 
21. Favourite TV show? – Friends, Pretty Little Liars & Full House.

22. PC or Mac? – Mac. 

23. What phone do you have? – iPhone 6.

24. How tall are you? – 5ft7 & 3/4 (the 3/4 is really important). 

25. Can you cook? – Erm not really but I’d love to learn properly. 

I hope you found that even the slightest bit interesting! 

Crissy x 

Mental Health

6 tips to support someone with their mental health

In England, 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (such as anxiety and depression) in any given week. This means that yourself, a friend or family member could be one of those six. It’s really important that we begin and continue to understand mental health as the more we understand it, the less of a stigma it will hold.
I got told recently that “I didn’t realise anxiety was an actual thing until I experienced it for myself”. This is what we need to change, we need people to understand but also to be able to help a friend, family member or work mate when they need it.

So here are a few ways you can offer support:
1. Listen – Listening is really important. Sometimes the person may not even be able to express themselves as they don’t know what’s going on. Just take time even if it’s 5 minutes to show that you are there as a listening ear. You don’t have to have the answers or give advice they’ll appreciate just knowing that you are there.

2. Talk – Moving on from listening, sometimes talking wether talking about how they feel or about something completely random to distract them from their thoughts.

3. Keep in touch – This might be a little text or just in the world of fb tagging them in a cute/funny video. I personally love cute dog videos but each to their own! Honestly though, sometimes on bad days, I find it difficult to text people. So even just a text so they know you’re thinking of them makes a huge difference.

4. Do not believe Fake News – Yes I said it. So in today’s lovely, delightful news world (a girl can dream right?) we have this lovely way of portraying mental health. Please please do not believe everything you see and hear, there are a load of made up things which get passed around. If you are unsure look it up, there isn’t anything shameful at all and in fact you’ll be helping your friend by being able to understand more.

5. Respect their bravery- It is so hard to speak out about how you are feeling. I felt like I would be judged, would lose friends over it and just scared how people would react. It takes a lot to stand and say “I’m suffering with a mental health problem” so when someone does come to you please respect their bravery!

6. Look after yourself- Okay so this may seem like a strange one but you can’t help someone if you feeling overwhelmed or stressed yourself. You can’t pour from a jug when it’s empty so it’s important to make sure you are okay first.

Remember though everyone copes differently, so I hope these tips are something you can refer back to if you aren’t sure what to do or how to help.

You can find more Information on mind, rethink and young minds. I hope this post has helped you in some way and started you on the step to help break the stigma around mental health.

Crissy x

 

Image from Healthy Place

Mental Health

Looking okay and feeling okay are two different things.

Having an invisible illness is literally one of the most infuriating things to explain. If it can’t be seen then you get some people who do try and say :
  • ah well you don’t look ill
  • You don’t have anything to be anxious about
  • You can’t be in that much pain, you’re always running about laughing and joking
So those right there are some of the most annoying phrases I get to hear every now and again. Lovely eh? My illnesses are invisible and whilst I can’t control that, people do need to realise that just because they can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not real.
My illnesses don’t define me, and they certainly don’t control me. Okay maybe the second one is a little white lie as if I’m having a rough day then i do want to scream but hey ho life goes on.
Even during my darkest days, I’ve gone out and put on my brave face. I have smiled, laughed, danced and been out enjoying myself. Somedays can be harder than others as at the end of the day I had to go back and deal with however I was feeling and try to find the cause of it.
Trying to avoid letting people know how I’m feeling is something I’m trying to become a master of. Comments and murmurs are something that really doesn’t help and can actually make me feel a hell of a lot worse.
Regardless of if my illnesses can be seen or can’t be seen doesn’t mean I cannot go out and have a good time. Quite the opposite, anything to help me feel even the slightest bit normal (which is totally overrated by the way) is welcomed!
So before you speak, have a little think. Be nice to people we are all battling something.
Crissy x