Mental Health · Miscellaneous · Uncategorized

“I saved a life but I’m not a hero”

I’m not a hero, I’m just someone who was in the right place at the right time. On the 1st of August, my cousin went into sudden cardiac arrest which caused her heart to completely stop. I was walking back to my house after going shopping and heard my Aunty shouting/screaming me from a few windows down. I dropped my shopping and went to see what was wrong and well I saw my cousin lay there non-responsive. She had no colour, her eyes were rolled to the back of her head, no pulse or no breath.

I think I must have just went into auto pilot, I moved her so she wasn’t slumped and just started CPR. Listening to the instructions my uncle was giving me from the caller on the other end of 999. I just couldn’t think of anything else. My aunt had opened the door ready for the paramedics. They were amazing, they arrived within 5/6 minutes of being called. When the paramedic told me she was going to take over, honestly I was relieved. In my mind though, I was thinking have I done enough, will she be okay. These thoughts were constant.

In the end there ended up being 2 ground ambulances and an air ambulance. The sound of the defibrillator will haunt me for the rest for the rest of my life. Hearing the sound of that going off again and again, bringing my cousin back every time she slipped out of life again was horrendous.

She ended up in ICU in an induced coma on life support for 3 days before being moved to a critical care ward in cardiology. Seeing someone you love on life support is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. That moment again, I was just praying I’d done enough before the paramedics came to keep her going.

She’s now in recovery with the diagnosis of long qt syndrome waiting to have an ICD fitted to help her if it happens again. Today marks her second week in hospital and second week since it happened.

I’ve had Paramedics, Doctors, Specialists, family and friends call me a hero. I don’t feel like one, I was in the right place at luckily the right time. I still can’t get my head around any of the events of that day, what happened or just anything to go with it.

I don’t feel like a hero, my thoughts and my actions make me feel like a fraud. Heroes are supposed to be brave right? Every time an ambulance goes past I feel sick and can feel panic coming back. Every time I see a sign for a defibrillator my heart goes just that bit faster. I’m hoping these feelings will soon become easier to handle but what I do know is I’m just so grateful for the fact my cousin is still here.

Crissy xo

Miscellaneous · Uncategorized

Sleep Easy 2018

So on Friday the 23rd March I took part in the YMCA Sleep Easy challenge. The tag line is “sleeping rough so others don’t have too”. For me taking part in this was something out of my comfort zone. I hate being cold, not having enough sleep and generally being uncomfortable.

It’s took me a week to write this post as I wanted to ensure I wrote what I felt. In the time I spent doing this challenge I reflected a lot on things that I take for granted and also had a change of perspective.

I got there for 7pm and I met everyone, got signed in and was given two boxes to make my little ‘house’ for the night. Other people started arriving and everyone was having a chat. I didn’t actually know anyone so was just talking to a few people. There was a competition for the best decorated box, so we had a bit of a laugh painting the boxes and sticking random stuff on.

We had a bit of food, listened to some stories of how YMCA Sleep Easy will help benefit those in need and also had a couple of buskers play for us.

Around 11, everyone was settling down going to their ‘beds’. By this the time the temperature had considerably dropped and even though I had 4 lots of layers top and bottom I was still freezing.

Throughout various points of the night I wanted to cry. I was cold, uncomfortable and in pain. At around 3am I was ready to throw in the towel, my head was killing as I still hadn’t slept and I just wanted to go home. This was when it really hit me, those who live like this every single night have no choice at all.

The impact it must take on these people physically and mentally is ridiculous. Something needs to be done as this can no longer and should no longer be happening. Every person has the right to somewhere safe to live, to be healthy and to be equal. I hope that this year is the year where change begins to happen and every person who is in that situation will not have to sleep rough again.

This experience changed my perspective on so many things, including how lucky I am, what I can do to help others and how just to be a better version of me.

Here you can see a little snapshot video of my night put together by HeadStart for me.

Bye for now

Crissy.xo

fitness · Miscellaneous

My Fitness Journey so Far

For me a normal week sees me going to the gym now at least twice. If I would have told a 17 year old me I would actually love the gym she would have laughed in your face. I loved rock climbing, swimming and karate but hated P.E with a passion.

My gym story began in 2015, I decided it would be a good idea to sign up for a Great Wall Of China trek. Now I wasn’t extremely unfit but I definitely needed to up my fitness levels and work on my balance. The balance thing still hasn’t happened, I have the nickname Bambi so that should explain all.

So when I first started off training I was doing a lot of cardio, that was a good & bad thing. It did help me gain stamina and i wasn’t getting tired easily but I was losing weight easily. That was a very big issue as I’ve always been on the slim side, having a high metabolism has its issues. I knew from then on I needed to do something a little different. A little bit of a background too, 3 years ago I was on and off the verge of being hospitalised for my weight, now thankfully I’m at a steady weight and not at risk anymore.

The left is me in Nov 2015 and the right is me in Sept 2017.

It’s took a few years really but I’ve finally got into a place where 1. I’m not afraid of going to the gym & 2. I’m not afraid of putting on weight. The second one for me is a big thing for a reason I still cannot explain I was scared to put on weight but I always wanted to because I was sick of the ‘aren’t you anorexic?’ ‘You should try eating more’ ‘if I just hit you you could snap in half’ comments. I still hear those in the back of my mind sometimes but they don’t bother me as much now.

I absolutely love weight lifting. I just find something so satisfying about it. Especially when I hit a new personal best. I can admit I hate training arms/upper body. I’m not good at it and get really frustrated with myself if I fail at a set. Training legs is my favourite and if it didn’t make me walk like a penguin after I’d do it all the time but also that just isn’t feasible. So I do either a leg day then a whole body or an upper body day then a whole body. Mixing up my routine really keeps me actively going as when I used to do classes they were so repetitive and I got bored far too quick.

I’m not sure what’s next for me with my fitness journey, I’m not sure I could ever compete in a competition but I’m just going along and see where it takes me.

Do you enjoy going to the gym? Or is there something else you like to do to have ‘me time’?

Crissy x

Miscellaneous

Autumn Tag

Hey,

I know it’s been a while since my last post & we’re also nearing the end of Autumn but I thought I’d share some of my favourite Autumn things before the season ends.

1)What signifies the start of autumn to you? – The leaves changing colour and the nights becoming darker.

 2) Best way to spend a rainy day? – Wrapped up in a blanket, watching a Disney movie with a hot chocolate.

 3) Your most fond autumn memory? – Going on a trail hunt around the local nature reserve and seeing the deer running about.

 4) Favourite Autumn scent? – Yankee Candle Fireside Treats as it reminds me of going camping.

 5) What are you most excited for this Autumn? – Outdoor walks, I loved bonfire night this year as well as we went to Alton which is one of my favourite places.

 6) Favourite autumn song? – Erm not sure about song but the Beautiful Trauma album by P!nk is definitely one of my favourites at the moment.

 7) Favourite autumn movie?- The nightmare before Christmas. It’s like a pre-christmas season movie.

 8) What TV shows are you looking forward to this fall? – Stranger things 2, Riverdale.

 9) Favourite autumn colour? – Burgundy, I’m not normally a fan of reds but burgundy and autumn go hand in hand for me.

 10) Your most loved outdoor fall activity?- Going round the trails at the nature reserve, seeing all the wildlife and the changing of the land.

So those are just a few things about Autumn which I love & have been looking forward too. Stranger Things 2 has been brilliant, I binge-watched it in a day and i have no regrets!

What are your favourite things about Autumn?

Crissy x